If Only

If only's have always been part of my life.
Right now, the biggest "if only" would be : If only i wasn't so stupid and proud, then perhaps things would turn out this way. Then perhaps things would be better and happier....

Do i have a right to these feelings? i don't think so.
I Landed myself here because of my pride and selfishness.
So do i have a right to feel this way?
Do i have a right to want her back?
Do i ever have the right to love her again?

The answer is but a simple word.... It a Big Resounding NO.

Sounds familiar? yup. Been in the same place before... In fact i'm still in the same place.
Trying to get over it? Yes, but the ride isn't a gentle one.

Been having flashes of life recently. the last few days.
Strangely it always has her in it..
How things would be like if only she was still in my life..
Sigh.....